Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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