And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
