So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I queefed so loud it echoed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
