i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
