Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
