Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
