I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
