Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
