please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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