Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
