I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Randomize
