I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
