And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
