I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
