But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
not ubering you a puppy
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
