sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
