I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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