I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
