Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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