I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
