my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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