Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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