Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
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I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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