I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
