OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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