it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
