There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
