He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
