Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
