I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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