Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize