id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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