great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
