apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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