Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
