Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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