I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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