He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
