Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
