I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
