therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
