The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
