I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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