We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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