there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
