but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
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Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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