Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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