you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.