So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
