It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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