just tell him i said nine months
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
