My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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