yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
