I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
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Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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