Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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