Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
