What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
