You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
worst night to have a conscience
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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