I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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