Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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