Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize