I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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