I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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