I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize