Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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  (810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj
  Replies (37) Good night (3440) Bad night (762)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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  (815): Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night http://tfl.nu/n9gx
  Replies (4) Good night (1302) Bad night (3885)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.

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  (651): I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen. http://tfl.nu/ni4j
  Replies (23) Good night (6103) Bad night (714)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.

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  (817): Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea. http://tfl.nu/vfyw
  Replies (6) Good night (2803) Bad night (924)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.

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  (401): No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point. http://tfl.nu/wyuo
  Replies (15) Good night (4677) Bad night (1260)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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  (563): I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay. http://tfl.nu/8krm
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (2872)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.

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  (719): Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss. http://tfl.nu/q2y0
  Replies (14) Good night (2209) Bad night (706)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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  (570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9
  Replies (6) Good night (2818) Bad night (675)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them

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  (208): spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them http://tfl.nu/7dwf
  Replies (6) Good night (1048) Bad night (714)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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  (914): Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way. http://tfl.nu/0tc3
  Replies (1) Good night (1286) Bad night (750)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Strong work

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  (479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt
  Replies (1) Good night (1536) Bad night (543)
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  (619): View more from California

  Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done

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  (619): Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done http://tfl.nu/oq1m
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (482)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.

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  (469): So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride. http://tfl.nu/8ytz
  Replies (8) Good night (1034) Bad night (490)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you

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  (609): I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you http://tfl.nu/6554
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (441)
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  (858): View more from California

  Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker

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  (858): Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker http://tfl.nu/c3nf
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (243)

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