Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show

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  (515): pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show http://tfl.nu/p27u
  Replies (23) Good night (3911) Bad night (1254)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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  (301): I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes http://tfl.nu/yjwe
  Replies (32) Good night (5595) Bad night (1144)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.

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  (224): She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand. http://tfl.nu/cnkx
  Replies (25) Good night (6583) Bad night (625)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

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  (360): All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together. http://tfl.nu/fujj
  Replies (13) Good night (4994) Bad night (1155)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.

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  (901): My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary. http://tfl.nu/r2s3
  Replies (9) Good night (5184) Bad night (905)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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  (904): Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again http://tfl.nu/3izm
  Replies (7) Good night (2741) Bad night (955)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.

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  (708): The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind. http://tfl.nu/lim4
  Replies (5) Good night (840) Bad night (1579)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (3035) Bad night (904)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.

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  (406): A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true. http://tfl.nu/azt6
  Replies (5) Good night (2631) Bad night (880)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.

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  (678): We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around. http://tfl.nu/u4a3
  Replies (8) Good night (970) Bad night (464)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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  (914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg
  Replies (3) Good night (1973) Bad night (555)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

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  (289): In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/ntm3
  Replies (13) Good night (375) Bad night (803)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?

  (224): View more from Illinois

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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  (708): I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING? (224): WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? http://tfl.nu/7enb
  Replies (11) Good night (845) Bad night (346)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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  (773): i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive. http://tfl.nu/jzd0
  Replies (1) Good night (228) Bad night (502)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home

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  (775): He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home http://tfl.nu/6g10
  Replies (6) Good night (1003) Bad night (377)

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