do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
