Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is" http://tfl.nu/c0jq

Replies (36) Good night (1302) Bad night (4244)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

(210): View more from Texas

i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941

Replies (23) Good night (5731) Bad night (1847)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it. http://tfl.nu/h8bb

Replies (7) Good night (757) Bad night (3132)
Favorite
(940): View more from Texas

Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(940): Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next. http://tfl.nu/2m7k

Replies (32) Good night (776) Bad night (4830)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

(202): View more from Washington, DC

buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr

Replies (34) Good night (15892) Bad night (1116)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu

Replies (13) Good night (831) Bad night (4035)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night. http://tfl.nu/1jxg

Replies (9) Good night (4193) Bad night (1372)
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7

Replies (16) Good night (4050) Bad night (844)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that. http://tfl.nu/pr0e

Replies (21) Good night (1425) Bad night (5198)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit http://tfl.nu/iywm

Replies (8) Good night (2762) Bad night (951)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups. http://tfl.nu/ij1j

Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (407)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom. http://tfl.nu/7rpj

Replies (7) Good night (2973) Bad night (672)
Favorite
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(306): i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name http://tfl.nu/61nk

Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (233)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok. http://tfl.nu/5g3s

Replies (0) Good night (297) Bad night (354)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow (401): Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us. http://tfl.nu/9nvb

Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (190)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: