After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.