There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
