plz talk dirty to me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you have to choose: penises or morals?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.