Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
