Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
