YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
