stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
