oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
