Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
