i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize