As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
