I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
too bad you live with your parents still
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I did not marry a roomba.
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